Revise, revise, revise.

I chose to edit this post because it is one of the posts I wrote quickest, without reading through. I realized I had lots of incorrect word choice, sentence structure, and positioning.

ORIGINAL:

The two blogs that I am following are “Borderland Beat”, which gives the American perspective on narcotic drug trafficking in Mexico and “El Blog del Narco”, which gives the Mexican perspective on the events of narcotic drug trafficking in Mexico. Both blogs have multiple authors, who are reporters who write stories on the horrific happenings due to violence and narcotic drug trafficking in Mexico. The “Borderland Beat” blog intends to inform the world of the terrible events occurring in Mexico in an unbiased manner, intending to show no involvement from the U.S. They intend to only state facts. In this blog, the pictures are much more gruesome and graphic than they are in the Mexican blog, “El blog del Narco”. They also include videos from Mexican news broadcasts. The “Borderland Beat” has sort of a C.S.I, cop-feel to it. “El blog del Narco” on the other hand, has a more concerning vibe to it. Obviously, since it is from the Mexican perspective, it shows its concern for its people and it’s citizens. Indeed, it addresses all of the horrible occurrences due to narcotic drug trafficking, but it also addresses the affects that these tragedies have had on the people of Mexico, such as children, the indigenous population, etc. Its purpose is to create a conscience and a sense of concern within the Mexican people, hoping to spark a turn for change. “El Blog del Narco,” is quicker to admit U.S involvement in narcotic drug trafficking, than “Borderland Beat”.

REVISED

I am following two blogs; one is named “Borderland Beat” and the other “El Blog del Narco”. Borderland Beat gives the American perspective on narcotic drug trafficking in Mexico. El Blog del Narco gives the Mexican perspective on the drug trafficking events.

Both blogs have multiple authors, who are reporters writing about the horrific happenings in Mexico due to violence, corruption, and narcotic drug trafficking.

The Borderland Beat blog intends to inform its audience on the terrible events that occur in Mexico in an unbiased manner, concealing U.S involvement. It tries to give facts, not opinion. In this blog, images are much more gruesome and graphic than they are in the Mexican blog. Also, they include videos from Mexican news broadcasts, American news broadcasts, and YouTube. Borderland Beat has a C.S.I/crime scene feel.

On the other hand, El Blog del Narco has a more concerned approach. Obviously, since it comes from a Mexican perspective, it demonstrates a concern for its country’s people.  Indeed, it addresses the horrific occurrences due to narcotic drug trafficking; also it includes how these occurrences affect the people of Mexico, like children, the indigenous population, etc. Its purpose is to create conscience and a sence of concern within the Mexican people. This blog hopes to spark change. Lastly, El Blog del Narco is quicker to admit U.S involvement in the drug trade than Borderland Beat is.